Against All Odds
by DavoniDalton
Summary: Blaine Anderson's life has never been a happy Disney fairy tale. It more closely resembles a story hand-crafted by the Brothers Grimm. he strives to make everyone else happy while letting his own happiness fall by the wayside. He will soon find out what happens when it all becomes to much to bear on his own.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1:**

** Underneath**

Once upon a time there was a boy. A boy who let society sell him every stereotype possible. A boy who turned to cold steel etching his skin to bring a feeling. He shrouded himself in darkness, but what he longed for was the light. To be part of the whispered conversations in overcrowded hall was. To stop surviving his life to start to live it. To stop fixing everyone else and start to fix himself. By this point you may be asking who this poor, unfortunate soul could be.

That would be Blaine Devon Anderson, 18 year old high school senior, class President, proud member of New Directions show choir at William McKinley High School. Once a strong, well defined young man, now a mere shell of his former self. There was a time when he walked with his head held high. He never had a reason to second guess what his life meant or was worth. But in one selfish, fleeting moment he ripped it all away from himself. Every hope, every dream, every chance at happiness. One moment of self-doubt stole his perfect future, more over it stole Kurt. The only man who had ever loved him unconditionally. Loved his faults, his flaws, his littlest imperfection. His perfect teenage dream that saved him, what seemed like a lifetime ago, on the stairs of Dalton Academy for Boys. Kurt was everything Blaine never knew he needed, and he let him slip through his fingers like sand.

Red dotted the floor as the rubies dripped from the thin line that, a moment before, seemed invisible. Blaine tried hard to stay in control, to keep the demon clawing it's way out of him contained. Some days were easier than others. Days when he didn't have time to sit and contemplate how upside down his world had become. Days when the last six months felt like a nightmare he would awake from any second. Yet, with the unforgiving sun, the nightmare persisted. Forcing him to face reality and the realization that nothing had changed. Days when he longed for the comfort and familiarity of his Dalton Academy blazer. The navy blue and red piping that meant he would blend in instead of stand out. The one place that Kurt's memory didn't assault him from every hallway or classroom. Where Kurt hadn't been his anchor and he wouldn't feel as though he was floating aimlessly on an endless ocean of regret. Where he never had to wonder what tomorrow would bring.

Sam had once convinced him he was a hero, so why did he still feel like the villain? Why did he hate having to look Finn in the eye everyday and see no hate mirrored back at him? He, above anyone, should have championed Blaine's return to Dalton. Still, Finn had forgiven him for his transgressions against Kurt. Kurt's own father held no ill will toward him, and still he longed for them to hate him. To despise him as much as Kurt did. These thoughts, these wishes, drove the razor over his skin yet again. Deeper this time than any of the previous. He wanted to go to sleep and never wake up. Blaine wanted the emptiness to swallow him forever. No today, no tomorrow, just nothing. No more pain, no more hurt. Just nothing. Let the demon inside him consume every fiber of his being. Let it steal his beating heart, the breath in his lungs. Shutters of cold numbness rocked him as he released control, fell into the darkness and let it envelope him. Let it welcome him into the nothing he had so longed for. Thankful that Kurt was finally freed from Blaine's toxic hold on him. Free to forget Blaine and find the happiness he had stole from Kurt. Blaine's chapter in Kurt's life was finally over, though Kurt's story was just beginning. He loved Kurt enough to give him the freedom to find his happy ending. His real Prince Charming. The one he could ride off into the sunset with, having no fear of ever being hurt again. His heart forever safe from any further damage Blaine could inflict.

No fear, no panic, no will to fight against the cold embrace of death. The slight pressure at Blaine's wrist told him someone else was fighting for him. He wanted to scream at them to stop, to make them see that this was for the best. The price he needed to pay for the despicable pain he had caused the only man he had ever loved. Blaine's eyes wouldn't open, his voice refused to surface. He couldn't explain this was what he wanted, what he needed. To make whoever it was see that he wasn't being selfish, he was being selfless. He was freeing everyone who had ever thought they owed him love or friendship. He didn't deserve anyone concern. Yet, they wouldn't let go. He knew they had stopped the bleeding. Light beginning to fracture the darkness. Not enough for him to to surface completely, but enough for him to know he eventually would. He could count the seconds, the minutes, the hours, the days that slipped by before the darkness was completely destroyed by the light.

Blaine's eyes fluttered open, the sounds of the machines around him filling his ears. Soft sobs coming from somewhere close by. He shifted his head to find the source though there was no need. He knew those sounds better than any other. He groaned audibly at the site of Kurt trembling in the corner, his head raising at the sound. He looked like an angel with his always perfectly coiffed hair. He wore his white jacket with the zippers and locks that served no purpose, the white skinny jeans that hugged his body in all the right places, black belt and black boots. All Marc Jacobs, including his "Rain" cologne. His eyes were red and puffy from excessive crying. "B-Blaine, God you scared me. I-I thought for sure I had lost you." Kurt's cries turning into hiccups.

"That was the plan." Blaine laughed to himself. "Looks like suicide is another thing I can add to the list of failures." He knew what was coming next. The question he would have to answer a million times over, though no one would quite believe the answer.

"Why did you do it, Blaine?" the older boy asked. Concern, worry and anger thick in his voice.

"Why did I do it? I did it for you. So you could let go of me and have a chance at the happiness I stole from you. Give you a future with no pain of the past. Where you would wake up one morning and I'd be nothing more than a hazy memory of a life long forgotten." Blaine sighed. Kurt was shaking his head, slowly inching closer to the younger boys bedside. Kurt's blue eyes tearing at Blaine's heart. Every bit of hurt Blaine had ever caused him etched across his face.

"You honestly thought that this," Kurt motioned towards Blaine's bandaged wrist. "would release me from some obligation you think I have to you? That one moment of stupidity on your part would erase the two and a half years we were together?" Fresh tears glistened behind his beautiful orbs. After all the pain of the last six months it was a wonder this boy still had tears left to shed. Blaine swept a wayward tear from Kurt's cheek.

"I just wanted you to be happy. For a single moment, I wanted to feel like the universe wasn't going to crush me and my heart wasn't going to explode. A moment when I wasn't broken beyond repair." Blaine struggled to keep control of his own tears. Tried to beat them back, he had no right to feel pitied. No right to have this boy still by his side. Blaine's head began to spin, blinding pain searing across his eyes. He could just make out the panic behind Kurt's eyes before a thick shroud of black claimed him.

Kurt hit the emergency call button on Blaine's bed. He couldn't wake the boy and he was scared. Tremors rocked through him as his mind started racing. If he lost Blaine he wouldn't know what to do. No one in his life understood him like this boy. When Kurt had felt that there was no hope left, that he was trapped, Blaine had shown him differently. Blaine had been his anchor, his tether to some sort of normalcy in his life of sheer crazy. He needed the chance to tell Blaine that what happened six months ago may have caused frays in the tether and rust on the anchor but it had not damaged his hold on him.

The nurses rushed in to evaluate Blaine's condition. "He won't wake up. One moment we were talking and the next his face went pale, his eyes rolled back and he was g-gone." Kurt backed out of the room to give the nurses, and now doctors, their space. He didn't see Sam behind him.

"What's going on, Kurt?" Sam's eyes were heavy with worry. Kurt told Sam everything. From why Blaine had done it to Blaine going unconscious. "Kurt, stop being so hard on yourself. No one knew Blaine had gotten to this point. The man is my best friend, I knew every emotion that he felt. Trust me, this he kept buried deep. This, he was fighting alone."

"He should have told me. Should have come to me with this." Kurt shook his head, raking his fingers through his hair.

"I don't think it's that he didn't want to, I don't think he could. I think that whatever he's battling wouldn't let him." Sam sighed. "But I can see his reasoning for doing what he did." Kurt's look of utter confusion wasn't wasted on Sam. He smiled and told Kurt exactly what Blaine had confessed. How had Kurt not known this was where Blaine would end up? Everything Blaine done he did out of love and concern for someone else. Kurt had to chuckle to himself at the thought that Blaine would kill himself to make sure someone else was happy. How ironic that Kurt would be the one he had tried to do exactly that for. Blaine 's own happiness had never meant much to the boy, as long as he could bring a smile to someone else face. It had been one of the traits Kurt loved most about the boy. He allowed himself to steal a glimpse into the room at his unconscious ex, his heart slipping with the realization that this could be the end. That Blaine might have come to long enough to make Kurt realize that this had all been, although misguided, done to benefit Kurt's happiness. The boy was willing to give what no one else had dared to ensure the pain would end. How had Kurt ever been so blind to the fact that there would ever be another man like Blaine. In all the world, he had found his soul mate and he had potentially thrown it all away. In some ways he was beginning to think that he owed Blaine an apology, that he should be the one begging for forgiveness. How had he become so enamored with New York that it had cost him the love of his life? Here he sat, on the brink of what might be Blaine's final breaths, and he couldn't tell him that he would do anything to have just one more minute. One more second even to tell Blaine that he needed him as much as he needed the blood that coursed through his veins. That he couldn't face a world the Blaine didn't exist in.

"Could you tell me how I might get in touch with a Mister Kurt Hummel?" the man in the white coat inquired, snapping Kurt out of his revere.

"I'm Kurt Hummel." Kurt could feel his eyes widening at the doctors request.

"Mister Anderson has listed you, and only you, as his Power of Attorney." the man explained. Kurt's mind refused to process what was being said, he could feel the look of confusion he was giving the doctor. "It means you are the final word in Mister Anderson's medical decisions should he be unable to make them himself, as the case being at the moment." the man gave Kurt a moment before continuing. "It seems as though Mister Anderson suffered a rather nasty bump to the head the some how went over looked until he passed out. The injury to his head has caused swelling in his brain. The pressure from the swelling has caused Mister Anderson to slip into a coma. We can lesson the swelling with a rather small procedure that will more than likely bring Mister Anderson out of the coma. There are minimal risks that do accompany this type of trauma, however.

Kurt cut across the doctors words, "What the hell are you waiting for? Do whatever it takes o bring him back! I don't care what the risks are if it means he will live. Where are the papers I have to sign?" Kurt felt as if he was losing his mind. Why was this man standing here prattling on when he could be saving Blaine's life? He could handle whatever would come later. All he knew right this moment was that he couldn't lose Blaine, he would agree to anything that ensured that would not happen. Kurt felt Sam's hand settle gently on his shoulder. The boys hand felt comforting, Kurt allowed himself to relax a bit. "I'm sorry, Dr.," Kurt had to steal a look at the mans name. "Reyes. I am usually not so irrational. Bottom line is that I will sign whatever I have to if it means Mister Anderson has even a small chance at recovery. I can deal with the risks at a later period." Dr. Reyes simply nodded, handing over the papers for Kurt to sign. He automatically put his signature where it was required. Kurt exhaled as Blaine was wheeled out of the room, Kurt placing a chased kiss on Blaine's lips. Silently he pleaded with Blaine to return to him. Kurt turned and buried his head briefly in Sam's shoulder.

"Should I call Mister Shue and the others?" Sam questioned. Kurt simply nodded.

"Everyone should be here when he wakes up. He will need all the love we have for him to pull through this." Kurt let Sam lead him to the waiting room and guide him into a chair. Kurt felt the coolness of the wall through his hair as he leaned his head back. After everything between them, Blaine had left him in charge of his life. Had trusted that he still cared enough to make the right choice. Blaine still had more faith in him than he had in himself. Even on the brink of death, Blaine was still able to reach straight to Kurt's heart. Kurt let his eyes slide closed at the thought. Sleep grabbing him quickly, though restlessly. His dreams were laced with memories of happier times when the two boys only worry was being caught by their parents. A time when life was still just out of reach, it hadn't yet swallowed them. Carefree days when love was the driving force of every decision. When life hadn't yet gotten in the way.

A sort hand pushing hair from his forehead caused Kurt to awake. It should have been no surprise that it was Mercedes. "You OK, Kurtsie?' she questioned sweetly.

"Bla-Blaine?" was the only word he could get out, still groggy with sleep. Mercedes smiled knowingly.

"He is in recovery. The doctor said it looks as though we will know in the next few hours if it helped." she sighed.

"I can't lose him, Cedes. I just can't." Kurt exhaled. Burring his head in her shoulder, the tears flowing without care. Mercedes simply wrapped her arm around the boy and let him cry. A few minutes of silence had Kurt lifting his head to see who had all come. Kurt was quite surprised to see that everyone had, including Rachel and Santana. How long had he been asleep for them to have arrived from New York already? Nick, David, Jeff, Meatbox, Rebel, and Wes had even come to support Blaine. Though Kurt had to admit even he missed the boys from Dalton. All of the New Directions, new and old, had assembled in the waiting room. Finn, Carole, and to Kurt's surprise, his father were there as well. Finn holding some sort of book that looked vaguely familiar to Kurt. Blaine had once had a book just like this one that he was never without at Dalton. Why was Finn holding Blaine's journal? Finn must have understood Kurt confused expression, handing the book over to his step-brother. "Blaine gave this to me about a week ago with specific instruction to be sure you got it if some thing were to happen to him. And, well, I guess now is the time." Finn looked scared of what Kurt might say. He took the journal, smiling at his brother. It was comforting to see everybody again, though he wished it was under better circumstances.

Time seemed to drag on forever as the rather large group waited for news. No one seemed to want to break the silence for fear that they would miss something important. Kurt was final called out of the room by Blaine's doctor. "Mister Anderson is awake. Now we aren't sure of the damages just yet but the swelling has decreased drastically. He has come out of the coma and appears to have retained all his motor skills. You my go see him if you would like." Dr. Reyes motion back towards the room Blaine had originally been in. Kurt simply nodded, returning to the others.

"Blaine is awake." Kurt announced to the crowd.

"You and Sam should go see him. The rest of us will go in shifts a little later." Mr. Shue assured. Sam walking to meet Kurt at the door. The two nodded gratefully, before exiting to join Blaine. Kurt's heart picked up it's pace as he neared the door to his ex-boyfriends room. Blaine was lounging in his bed, watching some show on the television. He glanced at the two men in the door way.

"Hi, may I help you?" Blaine asked. Sam and Kurt exchanged confused expressions.

"That's not funny, Blaine." Kurt reprimanded the boy. Blaine tilted his head as if Kurt was speaking some language he didn't understand. Fear began creeping into Kurt. Why was blaine acting like this? Acting like he couldn't remember anything? Kurts fear was cemented with Blaines reply.

"Who's Blaine?" the chocolate haired boy asked sincerely. Kurt's heart fell to his feet. He may have saved this boy's life but what good was that when he couldn't even remember who he was?


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2:

Coffee and Courage

"Who's Blaine?"

The words resounded through Kurt's mind repeatedly. Very few things terrified Kurt. His mother's death, his father's heart attack, his father's cancer scare and those two little words. The words that had tilted Kurt's world on it's axis. For months he wanted nothing more than Blaine to completely forget him, But now he wanted nothing more than Blaine to remember. Remember all the good, the bad, every second the two had ever shared. The Dalton Academy halls, the McKinley choir room, the flat in New York. Everything that had made them the teenagers they had been and the decisions that defined the men they were quickly becoming. Those wants only fueled Kurt's desire to find a way to bring Blaine back to him. Back to everyone Blaine had ever cared about. He refused to accept that this boys destiny was to stay forever trapped inside himself. There had to be a way to make him remember. Kurt vowed to find the key that would unlock Blaine's mind.

Kurt sighed to himself, letting his mind wander. He mindlessly retrieved the journal from where it had been safely tucked away in his satchel. Turning the book over in his hands, he continued to rack through his thoughts. His eyes drifted across the room to where Sam sat. He had taken up residence at Blaine's bedside as well. Both boy's refusing to leave without Blaine. Kurt felt nothing but gratitude for Sam. He could read the look of worry on the other man's face clearly. "Kurt'" his voice was barely over a whisper. "what if Blaine never remembers us? I can't lose my best friend. He understands me when no one else does. Everyone else just kinda overlooks me , but he takes time to care." Kurt couldn't help but smile at the blond haired boy. Sam had always been a sweet guy. He held so many of the same traits that Blaine held. It was no mystery the two had become close in Kurt's absents.

"He'll come back to us, Sam. We'll find a way." Kurt wasn't just reassuring the other man but himself as well. He continued to turn the book over in his hands. Sam stared at his hands, frustration playing across his features. He cleared his throat nervously.

"I hated you for a while, did you know that?" Sam inquired. Kurt simply shook his head. Sam nodded his head, but continued. "When Blaine came back from new York in October I noticed something was going wrong with him. The night you and Rachel came to see the Grease show was when I really noticed it though. After that night he wasn't Blaine anymore. He didn't join in anything. He sat alone all the time. Didn't laugh, he didn't even smile. It was like he was there but he wasn't there. I blamed you for it. The silence you were giving him killed me. You guys had what we all wanted, and you were just throwing it all away. He hurt you, Kurt. I know that. He cheated and it sucks. But you didn't have to watch him tear himself down." he took a deep breath. "But on Valentine's Day we all saw that he still had that hold on you. We saw the happiness only you bring him, and I stopped hating you. I knew that if he still loved you then I couldn't hate you."

Kurt drank in every word Sam uttered. In some way's, maybe he had done more damage to Blaine with simple silence than Blaine had ever done to him being unfaithful. Kurt's head wasn't sure anymore, his heart ached to have the boy remember him. He could understand Sam's hate for him, and he couldn't fault the man for it. Kurt hadn't been forced to watch Blaine's will collapse, hadn't had to watch him close in on himself. Kurt hadn't tried to do anything but forget the pain. He had known, subconsciously, that him going to New York would probably result in him losing Blaine. In a way, Kurt had cheated on Blaine first. He had cheated on him with the excitement of New York. With . He had pushed Blaine away with ignored phone calls, unanswered text, and missed Skype dates. It hadn't been fair to Blaine. He had been left in Ohio with Kurt's old life. But even with the realization it didn't lessen the pain of what Blaine had done. Still, no one had ever made him feel like he was home like the emerald eyed boy did. Not even Adam. He was a nice distraction. Yet that's all he would ever be, a distraction. A few moment's of release from reality. A low dose pain re-leaver but never the cure. The only time the pain had been non-existent had been during Valentine's weekend. The few days he had spent back in Blaine's arms. Blaine had given him what he had needed knowing it was merely for fun. Kurt hadn't been blind to the fact that it had torn a piece of Blaine to allow Kurt to use him. Kurt had sworn to himself he would never allow himself to treat Blaine in such a manner again. Even though Blaine knew sex was never just sex for Kurt, the younger man had even called him on it in room 206. he had told Blaine it had been fun. Shit! How had stupid he had been to let those words fall from his lips, though Blaine had simply brushed them off. Blaine had grown silent toward Kurt after Kurt's return to new York. There had been no text, no calls, no contact. The few times that Kurt had reached out to him through text had garnered some_ 'Mhmm's' _and _'I see' s' _but nothing more. He hadn't tried to rehash their small reunion. Hadn't bothered Kurt with the '_I'm sorry's' _and _'I still love you's' _that he once had. Kurt chalked it up to Blaine's busy schedule, yet he knew the other boy was never to busy for him. Not like Kurt had been. Kurt was pulled from his thoughts at the sight of Dr. Reyes. "The results of Mr. Anderson's tests have arrived. It seems as though the trauma he sustained has caused retro-grade amnesia." Kurt and Sam exchanged worried glances. "There is a chance this will diminish over time and he will regain a part of or his full memory. Though a specific time frame, I'm afraid is, is unknown. Each case is different. There is also a chance he will never regain his memory at all."

Kurt's face distorted with the doctor's words, tears burning his eyes. "Dr. Reyes," it was Sam who spoke. "could reading to him help?" Kurt eyed Sam curiously. Where was he going with this? "The book, Kurt." Sam gestured to the object now resting in his lap. "Don't people keep their thoughts and feelings in those things? Their.."

"Memories." Sam and Kurt finished together. Sam had done it. He had found the answer. Kurt had never admired anyone as much as he did this man at this moment.

"I don't see where it could hurt." Dr. Reyes smiled exiting Blaine's room. Kurt beamed at Sam, throwing his arm's around Sam's neck.

"You are a genius, Sam. We're gonna get Blaine back. We're gonna get him back because of you." Now it was the waiting for Blaine to finish sleeping off the sedative so they could put their plan into action. Kurt gazed at his sleeping ex, anxious to begin his rehabilitation. The excitement the two men felt was palpable. Small movements from Blaine catching their attention. He yawned, rubbing his sleep filled eyes clear. He took a moment to scan his surroundings, seeming to remember where he was. Kurt's heart leaped with hope. If Blaine could remember where he was, he could remember more. It would obviously take time but Kurt could be patient. "Good morning, Blaine." Kurt smiled. Blaine's answering smile added to the hope still filling Kurt. Blaine looked across to Sam. Sam looking a bit unsure. Blaine looked back to Kurt. "Do you remember us from yesterday?"

"You are my friend Kurt from New York," Blaine smiled, turning to Sam. "You are my friend Sam from McKinley High." Sam's smile was ear to ear, seeming pleased.

"We want to try something, but only if it is okay with you." Kurt began. Blaine nodded. "You gave your journal to my step-brother, Finn. You wanted him to give it to me. We think it may help your memory if Sam and I read it to you. Would you like that?" Kurt prayed he didn't say no. Blaine took a few minutes to think it over. Insecurity masking his perfect face.

"You really think it will help me?" he inquired.

"Totally, Bro." Sam exclaimed. "Besides, what could it hurt?" Blaine contemplated Sam's words for another moment. His smile slowly reaching his eyes, causing Kurt's breath to hitch. Kurt fumbled with the book for a second before opening it._ 'Here goes nothing' _Kurt though to himself, clearing his throat.

_November 2nd, 2010_

_9:30 pm._

_It seemed like everyone was in their normal hurry to get nowhere fast again today. Okay, so there may have been a reason:) Naturally, the Warblers were performing in the senior commons, bringing the entire school to an absolute frenzy. _

_I watched in amusement as people rushed past me. Not a one of them realizing things wouldn't start without me. After all, I am the captain of the Warblers. Still, this had truly been all I ever wanted. To blend in instead of stand out. After the bullying at the Sade Hawkins dance, standing out scared the shit out of me._

_The staircase was packed, as usual, blue blazers with red piping running in every direction possible. Today, however, there was someone who wasn't dressed in the Dalton Academy blazer and khaki pants. His perfectly coiffed golden brown hair and __high-end fashion sense screamed that he played for my team. My mind was momentarily drawn away from the boy as my phone vibrated. I checked my watch, then the message. It had been Nick telling me to take the shortcut and be quick about it. I took the few remaining stairs two at a time till I hit the bottom. A soft, shy voice catching my attention. Checking to see who the voice belonged to found me staring into a pair of brilliantly beautiful blue pools, a slight ring of green around the edge._"_Ah, excuse me. Uhm, hi. Can I ask you a question? I'm new here." the boy had all but whispered._

"_My name is Blaine." I had said, extending my had to be polite. He obliged, placing his hand I mine. __His hand had been soft, yet firm. It had sent a jolt through me as if something long dead in me had been brought back to life._

"_Kurt." He spluttered out after a few seconds. A few more words passed between us before I contiously found myself running, hand-in-hand, through and empty corridor with Kurt lagging a bit behind. I had never felt so free, so alive. There was something infectious about this boy. His smile, his laugh, the way his eyes shown in amazement. The boy was absolutely gorgeous. __So much pride, yet something lay hidden just behind the near perfect mask of indifference plastered across his perfect features. I needed to know what that fear was. To help this boy how ever I could, if I could. So after the senior commons performance, during which I couldn't draw my eyes away from Kurt, me and two friends invited Kurt for coffee. He had been frightened but so much more sincere that David, Wes and I had bought him coffee before beating him up for spying. His simple words hit me like a boulder. Kurt was being bullied. He inquired in the three of us were all gay, causing me to chuckle a bit. "No, well, I am. But these two have girlfriends." I had smiled._

"_This isn't a gay school, Kurt. We just a zero-tolerance harassment policy." Wes had explained. With those simple words something Kurt broke. I could see the moisture pooling behind his eyes. Those beautiful eyes that, with his sadness, had changed to light green. I asked Wes and David to excuse Kurt and I, feeling he may be more comfortable talking with only me. They bid Kurt farewell, leaving us alone. Kurt __visibly__ calmed, quickly opening up. This sweet, gentle voiced boy was facing this all on his own. It was slowly killing him, and all I could do was tell him that I had been a coward and run. That or show him his ignorance. God! I was being __no help at all. But I didn't like seeing this boy, this angel, upset like this. He was to sweet and genuine to have to deal with assholes alone. It would be heaven if he just transferred here. Then I could protect him. In the end we exchanged numbers and said goodbye, my final word wishing him courage. And he hasn't left my mind all day._

_Less than 3,_

_Blaine Anderson._

Kurt looked up from the book misty eyed. He had only ever known the effect their first meeting had held for himself. To read, in Blaine's own hand, what it had held for the other boy was overwhelming. To know the way he had affected Blaine was almost to much. Kurt smiled at a rather confused looking Blaine. His heart faltering for a split second. "What is it, Blaine?" he questioned the younger man.

"We had been more than friends at one time, hadn't we?" Blaine's un-gelled curls playing against his lashes. Kurt simply nodded. "This isn't the first time you I've caused you tears is it?" Kurt shook his head no. Blaine's confusion only growing deeper.

"We'll get to all of that, Blaine. I promise. For right now we need to unlock who you are for you. We need to make you remember you." Kurt smiled, drying his eyes as Blaine smiled in reply.

"I want to remember. If not for my sake, for you. Remember what I had with you. My friendship with Sam. Everything is dim right now. Like faded pictures that, no matter how much you squint, you just can't make out. But I will get there with your help. You were someone special to me, I don't need my memory to know that. There is so much I need to know. Thank you for helping me." With that statement, Kurt knew this would work. This would bring Blaine back to him and back to Sam.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N:**

** I never imagined even one person would read this, let alone the number of people who have. Each and every one of you holds a special place in my heart. As long as there is someone reading this story, I will happily keep writing it. Please leave a review. Any suggestions, advice, ideas, or criticism is appreciated. Hoping to post chapter 4 by Friday. I am doing this without a Beta so please be patient. Also, if anyone would like to submit a cover for this story please don't hesitate. Now, without further a due. Enjoy chapter 3.**

Chapter 3:

Canaries and Kisses

Sam couldn't stand to see Blaine in that damn hospital bed. To see the pink, puckered skin at his wrist. How had he not seen the black hole his friend had slipped into? Sam pulled his fingers through his blond hair, staring out the window at nothing special. His mind drifting back to the days when Blaine was the life of Glee Club. When Blaine could make anyone smile just by smiling himself. There had always been something special about Blaine that Sam could never quite explain. Something everyone else took for granted or simply overlooked. Not Sam though. Sam saw that Blaine was unique, and he refused to allow him to hide it. To hide in the crowd and remain unnoticed. Sam pulled his attention from the window to look at his lost friend. Blaine slumbered peacefully. A few hours of freedom from his harsh reality.

Sam prayed silently that reading Blaine's journal was helping him remember who he was. He didn't pretend that he didn't understand what Blaine was going through. He had tried to understand all the big medical words Dr. Reyes and Kurt used when they talked about Blaine, only feeling worse when Kurt had to dumb it down for him. Though Kurt never seemed to mind, Sam felt he was becoming a burden on Kurt. Their conversation the day before had touched Sam. Kurt had recognized the look of frustration on Sam's face. "What's wrong, Sam?" The older man had asked. Sam had shaken his head trying to clear the fog that had invaded it.

"I'm not doing any good here." The tears burning the backs of his eyes. He hated feeling useless. "Maybe I should just go home." The blond haired boy had sobbed.

"No, Sam." Kurt pleaded. "I can't do this alone. I can't bring Blaine back on my own. I know I play the strong independent guy rather well, but the truth is I'm not. Not really." Kurt sighed heavily before continuing. "I never would have done most of the things I have without Blaine behind me, telling me I could. I need your help with this, Sam. Blaine needs you. Stay for him." Sam had glanced at Blaine's unconscious form. He had had to be given a sedative to get any kind of sleep that night. Blaine had taken to having nightmares of being bullied at his old school. The faceless bastards that Blaine fell to every time his eyes had closed for more than five minutes now plagued Sam's sleep. The baseball bat they had used to bust Blaine's ribs, and the names. How anyone could use such disgusting words was something he would never understand. But to know Blaine had faced it alone. Had laid in that dark, damp, cold, smelly alley by himself. Tossed aside like yesterdays trash. It infuriated Sam. Made his blood boil to know people could be so cruel to another human being. There weren't words in all the languages in the world combined to express his hatred for those three assholes. Sam was pulled from his revere by Blaine's soft voice.

"Where's Kurt?" his voice just above a whisper. Sam plastered the fake he had taken to wearing around the other boy back on his face. He moved to sit back in his chair before answering.

"He just went to clean up and get my work from school. He'll be back soon, I promise." He tried to sound happy. To fain hope that Blaine wouldn't see straight through him. Of course he failed miserably. Blaine twisted and untwisted his blanket in his hands.

"Sam," Blaine choked out. Sam's eyes lifted at the sound of desperation in Blaine's voice. "am I a burden on you and Kurt?" Tears shimmering on the boys cheeks.

"Hell no, bro. You could never be a burden on us. You're my best friend, Blaine. You're gonna get better and then I'm gonna get your ass back in the gym so we can start boxing again." This time Sam's smile wasn't fake.

"I-I box?" Blaine chuckled.

"You started the Dalton branch of Fight Club, dude. From what those Warblers say you were damn near unstoppable." Sam laughed. "You nearly beat the hell outta me and Finn Hudson, Kurt's brother, when I first came back from Kentucky." Blaine looked confused.

"Why would I do that?" He asked, smile faltering. Sam spent the next twenty minutes or so explaining that Blaine's singing and dancing had scared the shit out of Finn. That it caused him to be a dick towards Blaine. How Sam had tried to convince to Glee Club they had to sell sex in order to win Regionals, which Blaine had taken offense to.

"You told me that I had to think like that to sleep at night. I asked you what you meant, you saying that you weren't for sale." Sam sighed heavily. "You stormed out of the room. I never felt so low in my life."

"I am so sorry, Sam. That was so stupid of me. I never should have said that to you. You were only trying to help your family. I turned into those guys who beat me up only I used words instead of my fist." Blaine was beating himself up again. Sam had to make him stop. He had to quit taking all the blame.

"Stop it, Blaine." Sam scolded the other boy. "Stop making yourself the bad guy. God! Blaine, you didn't do anything wrong. You were just standing up for yourself. You had ever right to be pissed at me and Finn. We were the one's being stupid." Blaine inquired if beating himself up was something he did a lot. Sam answered by picking up Blaine's journal. "More than you should." Sam grinned. "Now where were we." Sam opened the book, clearing his throat.

_March 15th, 2011_

_10:25 pm_

_My breath caught in my throat as the doors to the senior commons swung open revealing a red, puffy eyed Kurt clad head to toe in complete black. Every voice in the room quieting at his somber appearance. I had inquired as to what had him so obviously upset, to which he announced that Pavarotti had died. He suspected it had been a heart attack. His sadness filled the room like the calm before the storm. "I know we have to practice do-whopping behind Blaine but I would like to sing a song for Pavarotti." He had pulled a tape out of his jacket pocket handing it over to be placed in the small stereo. The opening chords to the Beatles "Blackbird" filling the silence, Kurt's voice joining a few bars later. His voice rising and falling in the perfect places. Everything in view disappeared except this beautiful creature. An angel who was paying tribute to his dead pet in song. How long had this boy had this hold on me? Why hadn't I noticed, before this moment, Kurt was everything I never knew I wanted.? This boy who was utterly heartbroken over a bird. This perfectly imperfect angel, who was wearing sinfully tight pants that had to be unhealthy for any man. Damn! He was gorgeous. Kurt's voice shrank with the final notes of the song._

_The only thought that entered my mind was how to find a way to spend more time with this boy. But how was I gonna manage that? With class, homework and all the extra Warbler practice for Regionals. There was no extra time. That night I had laid awake in my dorm room. The blackness filled with those blue, sometimes green, eyes and heavenly voice. Think, Anderson! I had tried to order my brain. It refused to listen as always. Sleep finally washed over me. The next day wad no different. The answer I searched for still eluding me. It wasn't until that night, alone in my dorm room, that the idea hit me. If I could convince the council to make the eleven o' clock number a duet, Kurt and I would have to spend time together to practice. It was perfect. Absolutely perfect. Now it was just getting the rest of the Warblers to agree that would pose a problem. Boy, was I ever right. When I presented the suggestion to the council the next day the entire room fell to complete chaos. One of the council even suggesting we play it on kazoo's. David eventually called order to the angered mob. I explained that Pavarotti's voice had been silenced and I didn't want to continue to silence the other voices in the group. The vote was finally cast to turn the song into a dual lead. It passed unanimously, to which Kurt requested his name be added to the audition list. I quickly rebuffed the idea explaining I wanted to sing the song with Kurt. To which he spluttered a few words only to be cut off by another vote passing unquestioned. The shock clear on Kurt's face. My heart swelling at the thought of the time I would now get to spend with Kurt. Well, as soon as there was a song to practice. Shit! I hadn't thought that far ahead. Stupid, Anderson. Stupid, stupid, stupid. _

_I grabbed my I pod from it's dock and began scrolling through my play list. Lady Gaga, Pink, and Katey Perry quickly over looked. I needed to prove I was versatile. Stationary was not something Kurt liked. I swiped the pad of my finger up the screen again before stopping the movement. The perfect song starring back at me. Kurt would be proud which made my heart stutter. That night was spent dreamless, a peace I had never known embracing me. _

_I hurried to find Kurt the next morning, finding him alone. Craft supplies surrounding a small box. I inquired as to what he was doing to which he explained he was decorating Pavarotii's casket. This boy was nothing less than amazing. "Well, finish up. I have the perfect song for our number and we should practice." I grinned._

"_Do tell." He had smiled._

"_Candles by Hey Monday." I smiled. He smiled in return._

"_I'm impressed, you're usually so top forty." He retorted._

"_Well, I just wanted something a little more emotional." I admitted. Taking the seat next to him. A slight look of confusion playing across his flawless features. _

"_Why did you pick me to sing that song with?" Kurt was far from stupid, of course he would know there was a meaning behind it. I had to swallow my heart before it jumped out of my throat and landed on the table. I closed my eyes, knowing his were boring through me for an answer. 'It's now or never, Anderson' I told myself._

"_Kurt, there is a moment when you say to yourself. Oh, there you are I've been looking for you forever." I shifted slightly, placing my hand over his. "Watching you do "Blackbird" this week was the moment for me, about you." realization slowly dawning on Kurt's face. "You move me, Kurt. And this duet would just be an excuse to spend more time with you." before I knew what I was doing my lips were on Kurt's. His soft lips dancing against mine, his hand coming to rest on my cheek. The kiss breaking, Kurt's hand hitting the table for support. His eyes closed for a second. "We should practice." I could feel my face color, a nervous giggle escaping me._

"_I thought we were." Kurt breathlessly replied, and I kissed him again._

_Every fiber of me told me this was right. This was what I had been waiting for. We lost Regional's, but I didn't care. I had won something that was far more precious than any damn trophy. I had won Kurt. I had won a love that would last my whole life through. I had found my soul mate._

_Less than 3,_

_Blaine Anderson._

Sam looked at Kurt who had rejoined them shortly after Sam had started reading. Kurt's eyes glistening with unshed tears. The silence stretched on for a moment. Both the men shocked when it was Blaine who broke the silence. "I remember that bird. It was a tradition to give each new member of the group one. David and Wes had been so happy to hear you were joining." Sam and Kurt exchanged excited expressions.

"Oh my God, you remember that? Blaine, that's incredible." Kurt cooed. Pride shining in his eyes.

"That's great, bro!" Sam exclaimed. Blaine lowered his head, a slight shade of pink coloring his cheeks. The three boys exploring what other events Blaine could remember. Turned out he could remember almost everything up till the kiss. Sam and Kurt had done it. Slowly, brick by brick, they were tearing down the wall that surrounded Blaine's blocked mind. Blaine had dissolved into a fit of giggles when he remembered making out with Rachel at her party, but apologized to Kurt for what seemed like hours about the tirade he had went off on when Kurt had tried to explain to Blaine that he was gay. Kurt assuring his ex that it was fine. That, just like now, he had simply been trying to find himself. Had blushed when Kurt had told SAM about the "Warblers GAP Attack" that ended in disaster. They laughed until dawn when Kurt feel to exhaustion. Sam and Blaine yawning wildly. Both trying hard to fight sleep, yet neither quite winning.

"Thanks for helping me, Sam. I couldn't ask for a better friend." Blaine confessed.

"That's what bros are for, dude." Sam smiled proudly. Sam watched Blaine's eyes slip closed, happy he hadn't left. He would have missed moments like this. Would missed his friend finding himself again. Would have missed watching the two soul mates find the real reason they fell in love. Learn the world is full of bad shit, but only one true love.


End file.
